Fear is the path to the dark side

This post is for the people whom’ … like me, can’t find or have trouble maintaining their floating point, who don’t have enough self-confidence/self-esteem, standing in front of the big scary door we all know that has the dark side written all over it, sinking deeper and deeper in their own shit, building up the mental barriers and walls that keep them from doing what they want, killing their motivation among other things, with their own hands, in this efficiency and productiveness based, measuring society, where you’re judged by the extent of your productivity chart, like a battery, are you a duracell or a 777 … where the one’s at the top achieved brainwashing us, so that we’re only happy if we can buy stuff, buying stuff means having money for it, making more money will make you happier cuz’ you can buy even more stuff (you don’t even need) that these people behind the curtains get rich off of and maintain their control over you, turning us in a happy consumer society.

The better you are, the more efficient you are, the more productive you are, the more money you make, the more stuff you can afford and this vicious circle never stops if you don’t step up to it and you don’t find the power to start to change things. (BTW a good movie I saw recently with my g.f. is stranger than fiction.)

I found myself many times exhausted from work, trying to juggle many tasks and deadlines at once, loosing focus having no feeling of success, that eventually lead to being less productive, tired, moody and depressed, thinking – what a looser I am, I failed again, didn’t finish in time, others are better than me, I’m a looser, what’s gonna happen to me, I’m gonna be dumped or replaced and so on, bla bla bla – which eventually leads to the consumer society thingy’ again cuz’ you start thinking about or others recommend you go see a doctor, talk to a professional and even couple counseling which I think (I mean all this mental doctor health thing, is cuz’ we (all of us, the whole society) became so self-absorbed, self-centered, egoist, narcisit, isolated, no more community spirit, no more I do something for somebody else without waiting something in return, everybody is racing with everybody else and with themselves also … so in the end it’s just u and ur professional 3 diploma owning phd, md, doctor ‘friend’ who remains ur freind until you pay him and this, if you think of what I said earlier leads to the – I have to be more efficient and productive to make more money so I can pay my pro ‘firend’ – circle again). I’m not the kind of guy who runs to a professional or takes pills if something is wrong in any domain of my life. Especially if it’s a matter that takes place in your head, like if there’s a big mess in your head and you have to sit down with yourself and sort things out, altho’ I’m not saying going to a professional is blasphemy or weakness, BUT if you have friends or (in case of a problem with your g.f.) good communication exists between you and your partner, there’s nothing the two of you can’t sort out, there’s nothing that a professional doctor can tell you that you couldn’t think of or talk about … in my humble opinion, so why go waste your hard earned money?! …

It takes two tho’…

Misery likes company and we hung out pretty darn much, my fears and lack of self-esteem/confidence costed and costs me dearly in every domain in my life. On the break of loosing people I care about and my own sanity I searched and found some good articles that might help.

Before linking you here’s a small very powerful line from master yoda that everybody should start the day with (BTW did you know George’s Yoda was inspired by the movie Dersu Uzala? Another movie I recommend watching).

I read these and decided to gather, most of them from Leo Babauta, the author of Zen Habits.

So here they are:
25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence
How to Doggedly Pursue Your Dreams in the Face of Naysayers
Get Off Your Butt: 16 Ways to Get Motivated When You’re in a Slump
Move Beyond the Limits That Are Holding You Back
18 Practical Tips for Living the Golden Rule
4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit

A small reminder, be the change you expect to encounter…

May I gain no victory that harms me or my opponent.
May I reconcile friends who are mad at each other.
May I, insofar as I can, give all necessary
help to my friends and to all who are in need.
May I never fail a friend in trouble.

Another one that helps.

Of course I’m afraid. It makes sense that I’m afraid. This fear is a temporary part of where I’m at right now. And even though I’d really like to not need to have it around anymore, this is where I am right now.

I am allowed to have this fear.

This is me noticing how much space my fear takes up. This is me reminding myself that my fear is only one part of who I am. It is not all of me. It is of me, but it is not me.

  • What if I’m allowed to be scared of the things that are meaningful and important to me?
  • What if there’s an easier way of doing things?
  • What do I need?
  • What will help me feel safe and supported?

Illuminated mind is yet another nice blog I recently added to my bookmarks. I like to follow things at my own pace, I don’t like this, facebook, hi5, rss, google reader, twittering lifestyle and all the other marketing and money makin’ based solutions to follow your news sources or inspiration sources. At a certain point you find yourself getting depressed just because you see all those posts and news and things happening around you, people writing, doing things, while you can’t even find the time to follow up on all the stuff, nevertheless create something of your own or write a post so… thanks but no thanks, pageranks and ads and all this race and productivity based money centered society/system makes me sick.

Here are another one+one+one pages you might want to read.

So chill… :) take it easy, one step at a time, you’re not alone, there is no spoon :) and the only limit is the one set by your OWN imagination, nothing’s impossible and so on, these sound clische-ish but they are all true!! Before all: “Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”

Life is like walking trough a dream you come up with. “Do or do not… there is no try.”

Don’t be reckless with other peoples hearts… don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours… this also falls under the ‘golden rule‘.

Hope I helped… and now to cheer you up…

May the Force be with you.
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