The momentary return of the “smart” watch in my life.
After my previous “smart watch” expired on me like it was planned too, just as it was closing in on the one-year mark. I kind’a promised myself not to buy another one. These “consumer electronics” are worse than a drug addiction.
Since I’m a rebel scum and I obviously like to piss on myself, I went ahead and gave in like a little junky bitch in desperate need of just one more last shot or something.
The Gear S3 Frontier. What a homosexual name… and looks, now that I look back on it.
I checked the map. Apple’s square watch design never resonated with me. Round watches FTW. It was a little bit bulky and shiny for my taste but I went along with it anyway. Fitbit products look like plastic children’s toys and age accordingly. Since Tim-I-like-it-in-the-butt is in charge Apple is heading in the same not good at all direction btw.
Samsung offered a proper, round display with an AMOLED.
A Mechanical bezel that gives me tactile feedback. I need that because I’m not a soulless robot. We are in desperate need of more mechanical things!
Universal straps! Hear that Apple? Swatch?! When are they going to learn already?! Trying to force people into your own ecosystem gets really old really fast. Applies to every industry nowadays. Should have deduced that by now ya’ guys. This brings me to the next point. Software.
The app was horrible. Don’t know ’bout the experience on a Samsung phone or other devices running Android but the iOs app sucked. Because it was designed to suck so you convert to their platform. This is like religion but without the crusade. Not physical at least.
Compared to my very pleasant experience with the Fitbit app to say something positive about them after all the negatives. That app was properly made, integrated, designed. Kudos to Fitbit for that.
Everybody has one. Started to notice them on the plane, in the city, on the bus. Like a plague. A proper fashion trend. Disgusting. I know. I’m responsible for the purchase so I shouldn’t be bitching.
This watch face was designed by the same guy(s) who used to work for Swatch I think. That is why I probably liked it. That is why I bought a Swatch Irony series watch 10+ years ago. A “dumb” watch by today’s standards, but today’s Idiocracy standards ain’t worth shit.
The Swatch still works btw. Just needed a new strap and a fresh battery. I’m pretty sure it will handle another 10+ years of abuse. I can’t say that about these puppies tho’. They will end up in some grinder, like all electronic devices sooner or later.
Sometimes at night, the screams of my Nokia-s being grinded in still haunts me. Pretty sure electric car (batteries and gizmos) will also suffer the same fate.
Wireless charging. WoW! What a pain in the butt. Bet you thought I was going to say how convenient. This guy could only be charged wirelessly and that is cool and all, until you leave town and instead of just taking a charging cable with you, you have to take the whole fucking charging dock + cables that you need to dig it out from under the desk where you conveniently embedded them for aesthetic purposes.
Nothing beats a handcrafted, nice mechanical piece of engineering in my book.
I talk like an old person.
Talking about mechanical. I guess these will outlast any Fitbit. These are more robust things. The first thing I can see failing on it is the bezel. It will probably fall off / apart with time. Didn’t want to wait and see that happen. Sold!
Didn’t promise myself anything this time. I know better now. Gave the new Apple offering a flirty look, to be honest, but the discreet ticking sound coming from my wrist that was born at a time when planned obsolescence was not full on yet, reminded me to know better. My next watch if I’ll allow myself the luxury will Ironically be another Irony series. I just gotta’ dig around to find one I like in all that mess they call an offering right now.
Before closing. The software running on the watch itself was nice but still in beta if you ask me. Heart rate sensor was meh. Battery life was good compared to the other guys in the league. I could squeeze out 5-7 days if I tuned down the draining extras.
You can make calls from it, record audio, see notifications and read text mesages, even e-mails. Or just glimpse over them to see if it is something important or not. Convenient.
It also had a flashlight feature that I liked. Vibrate, that enabled it to wake me without waking the missis sleeping next to me. So yeah, lots of cool little tings but the decadence, the gay shininess, seeing the same fucking thing on every wrist everywhere, the lab sheep beta tester taste overshadowed everything.
Do I NEED those things? Can I live without seeing how much I slept… ish. How many-ish steps I took, or how many-ish stairs I climbed, or what my heart beats like-ish?! Altimeter, barometer, statistics, charts. Do I need another thing radiating Bluetooth, GPS and WIFI signals?! Do I want to buy a new expensive “flagship” watch with tons of features that only take time, energy, earned resources away from me every 12 months?
This was my last fix. Hopefully.
Rant from SmartWatch anonymous.